Trade Show TalesBlog

April Fool’s Day 2024 | Your Shared Knowledge Newsletter

April 1st, 2024 COMMENTS
April Newsletter
Meet OLEG -- Onsite, logistic, exhibit, guru

Onsite | Logistic | Exhibit | Guru

Hand him $20, a sub sandwich, and hot coffee

Starting in April, for a small fee (cash only please), Classic will have an OLEG option with every exhibit shipped in a wood crate. When your crate arrives, please let OLEG out, hand him a $20, hot coffee, and sub sandwich… he will do the rest! Leaving you time to wine and dine your valuable clientele while knowing your exhibit is being set-up on the show floor.

This new, revolutionary take on exhibit supervision is set to change the exhibit world. No more expensive flights and added hotel rooms for supervisors! OLEG travels in the crate WITH the exhibit! And if you know Classic crates, then you know he’s more than fine and comfortable on a 5-7 day LTL trip all across our great land. While you may have (shall we say delicate) questions about how OLEG can remain in a crate for 5-7 days, not to worry. We have solved that as well through the miracle of modern science. We’ll spare you the details, but rest assured, OLEG won’t suffer (too much).

Oleg Logistic Service
Wake me when the show is over

Lost your crate? OLEG travels with a cell phone. Just give him a call, and he can send you his location via “Find my iPhone.” Genius!

You’re probably saying to yourself, “This sounds amazing Kevin, but there has to be a catch. What’s the catch?” OLEG is only available for Direct-to-Show shipments. We had a recent “incident” when testing our new OLEG program on a shipment going to the Advanced Warehouse at MJBizcon in Q4 of 2023. Somehow, we lost track of the shipment. Poor OLEG was abnormally hungry for days until he was found. The GC charged the client an extra $10K in drayage because they had to bring him subs and hot coffee every two hours in the warehouse. Something about the munchies!

Contact us for a quote. There’s limited OLEG availability until we can clone him. We’re making progress, but he’s getting skittish about the long needles we use to extract his DNA. For a guy who travels cross country in an unheated crate, he’s kind of a big baby.

Eat my trade show booth
Fruit Rollup Trade Show Display

Landing on the EXHIBITOR Find It — Top 40 list has its advantages.

Last month, Classic was contacted by a well-known candy company out of Pennsylvania (rhymes with Dershey). They told us they’d read about us in EXHIBITOR magazine and felt we might be able to assist with a unique idea one of their marketeers had recently come up with… an edible display.

They asked if we had the ability to print on large sheets of their candy. As you probably already know, today’s printers can print on just about anything as long as the substrate fits under the printer heads. And when we told them that we had access to edible inks (just like that bakery down the street that can put your son’s face on his birthday cake), everyone started getting psyched!

We tested various versions at Summit Graphics PDX (our in-house printer) and eventually landed on the perfect print. We produced two 10×10 booths each with different edible graphics. It was impossible not to notice them as they were both radiant and aromatic!

During their four-day launch meeting, salespeople were encouraged to take bites out of the backwall. As the week progressed, and the candy graphics were noshed, the booth became more and more exposed.

By the time the meeting was over all that was left was the display’s framework and a header that read, “Nom, Nom, Nom.”

We’ve asked that they send pictures as soon as legally possible. Life can be sweet when you work with Classic Exhibits.

Classic Red for everyone

Why is Classic’s logo, a color combination of Red, Black, and White, so striking? These colors are foundational. The red, black, and white combination elicits a primal response in every culture.

Did you know the first colors to be named as languages evolved were always white and black, followed by red? People needed to distinguish between dark and light, and no color has more urgency than red. Think fire and blood, and the essence of life.

Given this inherent truth, Classic’s Design Department has implemented a rule to enhance all the designs that come through our department with red.

RED RULES!

Depending on the client’s existing branding materials, we will ensure that at least 20% of printed graphics are red. In most cases it also makes sense to change the client’s logo to a black, white, and red color scheme. The response to our “Classic Red for Everyone” initiative has been OVERWHELMING!

We look forward to helping you sell more designs this year as we turn all your clients into facsimiles of Classic Exhibits Inc. Red Rules!

Neural implants will soon destroy the trade show business
Brain Implants will Destroy the Exhibit Industry
Brain Implants will Destroy the Exhibit Industry

Unless you live with Aunt Betty in a log cabin in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, you’ve read about artificial intelligence (AI). You may be wondering, “How much longer before the robot overlords force us to polish their shiny shoes and walk their robot dogs.”

AI, however, should be the least of your worries. If you build trade show exhibits, your livelihood may be threatened by brain implants. Brain implants are technological devices that connect directly to a subject’s brain – usually to the cortex.

Neural scientists have discovered how to use neural computer chips much like graphic rendering software to create vivid 3D images in your brain. And like augmented reality (but without the funny goggles), the visual projection is identical to the physical object.

We’ve recently learned that certain trade show associations, whose acronyms will remain nameless, have been funding research into this technology. Their goal is both evil (and to be honest quite brilliant). They want to eliminate ALL PHYSICAL TRADESHOW EXHIBITS.

It’s not a conspiracy theory if you believe it’s true

Instead, attendees will walk the trade show floor, but the exhibit designs will be virtual, beamed to their neural implants and projected to their ocular nerves. They’ll see the booth in 3D, but there will be no real physical displays, no carpeting, no pipe and drape. Bottled water, however, will still cost $12.

My source tells me that exhibitors will still be required to rent floor space. The software for uploading and beaming the virtual exhibits will be the new drayage cost. Booth staff will be real-time holographic images requiring dedicated fiber-based broadband speeds costing 1000s of dollars.

You’ve been warned. It’s coming! Be VERY VERY afraid.

As Amazon goes so goes Classic Exhibits
Classic Rental Solutions Fly-Me-There Rapid Rental Services

Not so long ago, your Amazon packages were delivered by UPS, FedEx, or USPS. That model, however, wasn’t sustainable as Amazon’s volume increased exponentially. Today, there are thousands of Amazon delivery trucks delivering packages throughout the day, even on nights and weekends.

At Classic Rental Solutions, we studied the Amazon delivery model and realized that if it could work for baking pans, oil filters, Rice-a-Roni, and socks that it could work for rental exhibits. We’ve hired a logistics team and ordered 2400 diesel trucks and electric vans. Beginning in Q3 2024, CRS will handle shipping to all major cities in North America. And by major cities, we’re talking cities with a population of 100k plus.

Day, Night, and Even Weekends

If you’re thinking, “This sounds kinda nuts!,” you couldn’t be more wrong. Here’s why… Not only are we adding 2,400 trucks and vans, but each and every one will have an expert driver fully trained to perform the installation and dismantle for all of the 413 designs currently shown in our rental galleries on the Classic Exhibits website.

That’s just the beginning. In the second quarter of next year, we plan to kick off our Next Day Air service with a fleet of Classic Cessna SkyCourier Turboprop planes. We understand you get last-minute requests and there are always going to be “life-gets-in-the-way” distractions. Recently, we missed an important life-threatening surgical appointment while binge watching the entire Seinfeld series over two weeks. It happens… don’t judge.

Look for the Classic Rental Solutions Fly-Me-There Rapid Rental Services, better known as CRS-FMT-RRS, in early 2025.

If you’ve ever played golf with Gina Porcaro, you know she likes to have fun on the golf course, especially in industry scrambles and doesn’t take the game too seriously. (This is what most people think anyway.) What you don’t know is that for years Gina has been quietly qualifying for her LPGA card.

What does the LPGA tour and designer wineskin bota bags have in common? Gina Porcaro.

This has required rigorous training with a top pro golf coach and a substantial investment in a custom golf simulator (photo attached) to train year-round, day and night in Michigan. In February Gina received her LPGA card! What does that mean for Gina’s future in the trade show business?

Time will tell, but Classic Exhibits has already agreed to sponsor her via a line of wineskin bota bags!

Congratulations Gina and watch out Nelly Korda!

Baseball Terms, Classic Style

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